Link, a fairy, and a bunch of of parodies!
by ZCrystal
Summary: (*Is not sure if they are parodies or crossovers.* I can't ever remember.) Link gets a new guardian fairy!!! It's... insane, hopefully funny, and above all: SCARY!!! (PG13 for the severe battering of a guardian fairy and mild language.)


Yeeheehee!! Ooh, I made up my own diabolical laugh! Well, sort of. Anyways, be afraid, be very afraid, cause: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!! Not that anyone probably remembers me anyways, all the old writers are gone, but oh well. Sooo, I don't own Zelda *mumble mumble* Not yet, anyways... YEEHEEHEE!!! Here goes... 

Link: *Is half asleep, still sorta dreaming* I don't wanna marry you, fish freak- *Is suddenly attacked by a glowing ball of light.* AHHH!!! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!! 

Glowing Ball of Light: ding! Ding! DING! Hello Link, I'm your new guardian fairy! YAY!! 

Link: *Is now fully, unfortunately, awake.* Why the hell would I want another of those?! *Is repeatedly trying to squash fairy with hat.* 

Glowing Ball of Light: Ding-a-ling!!! Cause I know how much you miss Navi and- 

Link: AHH! The cursed name!!! Do not speak it! *Grabs glowing ball of light where mouth should be.* 

Glowing Ball of Light: *Flies out of hand.* I'm Navi's cousin, Davi. Navi loves you sooo much, she wants to visit you. But I think I'm nicer than Navi. Like one time, at my birthday party, Navi went outside and told everyone that Death Mountain was about to blow up, and then they all left. And then this other time, Navi went- *Is smushed under Link's boot.* Hmmpph annn tffff ann floooo. 

Link: Die, you little son of a wolfos!!! 

Davi: *Is dead.* 

Another Glowing Ball of Light: *Flies in and lands on window.* Dink! I'm Tinkerbell! 

Link: Dude, you're pretty hot. 

Tinker bell: Yeah, I know. I got tired of hanging out with the five year olds, so now I'm looking for a real man. *Gives the Link the once-over.* And not having any luck. 

Link: Hey man, that was so a diss!! 

Tinkerbell: At least he's hotter than Peter, and he's not a dillusional idiot who thinks he's in kindergarten. He just should be. 

Link: Dude, so how did you find me? 

Tinkerbell: *Filing her nails.* Some Giant tree started talking to me. Kinda freaky, but, ya know. Oh, he said he needed you for something, a- *Is suddenly mauled by Davi, and falls out of window.* 

Davi: Silly Linky! You know guardian fairies can't die. *Still smiling insanely.* We just feel immense amounts of pain. But I know that was an accident, *Is flying in lopsided circles.* My head kinda hurts, I think you might have hit me a little too hard... OH WELL!!! YEEHEEHEE 

Link: Oh god, this one isn't just annoying, it's insane. Guess I'd better go see the tree. 

Davi: Must follow master. Ehehehe. *Grunts like Igore.* 

Link: *Shudders.* No more parodies!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! 

ZCrystal(Me): YEEHEEHEE!!! 

Davi and Link: *Walking/Flying towards the Great Deku Tree(GDT)* 

Davi: This one time, at Guardian Fairy Camp... 

Link: DAMN YOU ZCRYSTAL!!! *Stabs fairy with sword.* 

Davi: Ow... my eye... Oh, I think that was my leg... 

Link: Die again!! 

Davi: Yeeheehee, I'm okay Link, don't worry about me... I can handle a little pain. *Is dragging self across ground.* No problems here. 

Link: OMG, it's not dead? No, it can't be immortal, IT CAN'T!!! 

Davi: *One of it's wings falls off.* 'Twas merely a flesh wound! I am perfectly fine!! 

Link: *Is attacking a handy, nearby Kokiri.* Help me, man!! HELP ME!!! STOP THE MADNESS!!! 

Kokiri: eep... 

Davi: Ding! Ding! 

Link: *Deep voice.* You rang? 

Davi: Link, um... I think you're killing that child... 

Nearby Kokiri Child: ... 

Link: Oops... *Drops child and places hands behind back.* He's just very tired. Taking a little...uh...nap *Whistles and walk away.* 

Davi: Look! It is the GDT!!!! Hail!! Hail!!! *Tries to fly with one wing and smashes into a rock.* Oww... *Voice is muffled.* I didn't feel a thing! 

GDT: hey man, sup dawg? haven't heard from u in awhile, homie!!! 

Link: o_O... Ahh, and he wonders why... 

Davi: *Is chasing his sparkley tail thingy.* Wee!!! 

Link and GDT: *Stare* 

GDT: *Clears Throat.* that is whack!!! 

Link: Uh... 

GDT: dude, i got pay-per-view!! i'm down wit da lingo! *Does rock on sign* 

Link: ... *Is afraid.* 

GDT: oh, by da way, just wanted to tell u, da fairy is yours. saria told me u were sad cause u didn't have a fairy, so, well, now u do! FOREVER *echo, echo, echo...* 

Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! 


End file.
